The Little Book of Stoicism: Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, Confidence, and Calmness

1

A First Course in Differential Equations with Modeling Applications Dennis G. Zill Year: 2017 Language: english File: PDF, 20.79 MB

2

Art History Vol 2 (6th Edition) Marilyn Stokstad, Michael W Cothren, Michael Cothren Language: english File: PDF, 165.00 MB

THE LITTLE BOOK OF STOICISM

Timeless Wisdom to Gain Resilience, 
Confidence, and Calmness

Jonas Salzgeber



Disclaimer

Please note that this book is for entertainment purposes only. The views 
expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert 
instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her actions.



The Power of Philosophy

“The power of philosophy to blunt the blows of fate is beyond belief. No 
missile can settle in her body; she is well-protected and impenetrable. She 

spoils the force of some missiles and wards them off with the loose folds of 
her dress, as if they had no power to harm; others she dashes aside, and 
throws them back with such force that they rebound upon the sender. 

Farewell. ”
- Seneca



Introduction

Maybe you’ve stumbled upon a smart quote by an ancient Stoic 
philosopher or you’ve read an article that shared some inspiring Stoic 
ideas. Maybe you’ve been told about that helpful and flourishing old 
philosophy by a friend or you’ve already studied a book or two about 
Stoicism. Or maybe, although chances are very low, you’ve never even 
heard about it before.

However, encountering Stoicism in one way or another is the easy part. 
Understanding and explaining exactly what it is, though, is the tricky part. 
Recognizing and seeing exactly how it’s relevant today and how it can help 
you, is the challenging part. Fully grasping it and putting it into practice, is 
the ambitious part—that’s where the gold is hidden.

What the Stoics taught and practiced in the era of gladiators fighting for 
their lives and Romans socializing in steaming baths is still remarkably 
applicable in the era of Game of Thrones and Facebook. The wisdom of 
this ancient philosophy is timeless, and its value in the quest for a happy 
and meaningful life is undeniable.

With this book, you’re holding the treasure map in your hands. It 
introduces you to the leading philosophers. It gives you an easy to 
understand overview of the philosophy. It teaches you the core principles. 
It provides you with 55 Stoic Practices and helpful hints for the 
application in your challenging life. And most importantly, it shows you 
how to translate it from book page to action in the real world.

Cool! But how does a twenty-something know how to write the Stoic 
treasure map for the good life? Fair enough, I’d be wondering about that 
too. After many years of school and university, I was sick of reading 
academic books and papers and learning about stuff that didn’t really 
teach me anything of real life value. So, literally the day after handing in 



my final paper, I left the country and started my seven months long travel 
around the world. I wanted to get away, see places and other cultures, but 
mainly I wanted to get to know myself so I'd know what I wanted to do 
with my life when I got back. That last part did not work out; however, I 
did figure out something else instead: "I somehow must have missed the 
class on howto live?!”

In fifteen and a half years of schooling, I learned math, physics, chemistry, 
biology, and a bunch of other stuff, except how to deal with challenging 
situations? How to face my fears and struggles? What to do about my 
depressive feelings? How to deal effectively with the death of my friend? 
What to do with my anger? How to be more confident? Nope, I must have 
missed all those classes. That, by the way, is exactly what schools of 
philosophy were all about in the ancient world, they taught you how to 
live. And even though these schools don’t exist anymore, you and I and 
most people are in as much need of a philosophy that teaches us how to 
live as we ever were.

Long story short, I decided to invest in myself and learn how to live well. 
From all the wisdom I devoured in the following years, Stoic philosophy 
helped me the most, even though it didn’t start on good terms. Before I 
knew much (anything) about the philosophy, I thought this must be the 
most boring thing on earth. I mean, after all, it’s called Stoicism and not 
“Supermanism” or something else that would indicate it’s worth studying.

I gave it a shot anyway, got hooked, and since then I’ve been a voracious 
student and practitioner of Stoic philosophy. And even though I’ve read 
and reread countless books. I’ve always lacked a source that provides a 
simple overview and explains what exactly Stoicism is. So I wrote this 
massive article that should do exactly that: Give an overview of the 
philosophy and say what it’s all about. Fortunately, many people loved the 
article and found it immensely helpful—so much, actually, that someone 
stole the exact content and sold it as his book. That did not only test my 
personal Stoic mindset, but all the five-st ar reviews it got told me that 
people really want to learn about this philosophy.



So here I am, passionately writing about what would have saved me 
countless weeks of research and would have provided so much sought- 
after and desperately needed wisdom from this exemplar}7 philosophy. I’m 
positive that this book will contribute to the modern Stoic literature and, 
most importantly, that it will serve you well oil your quest for the good life. 
Because that’s really what Stoicism helps you with: living a great life.

Whatever you’re going through, there’s advice from the Stoics that can 
help. Despite the philosophy’s age, its wisdom often feels surprisingly 
modern and fresh. It can help you build stamina and strength for your 
challenging life. It can help you become emotionally resilient so you’ll 
neither get jerked around by outside events nor will others be able to push 
your buttons. It can teach you to handle yourself and stay calm in the 
midst of a storm. It can help you make decisions and therefore drastically 
simplify everyday living.

“He who studies with a philosopher,” Seneca says, “should take away with 
him some one good thing every day: he should daily return home a 
sounder man, or in the way to become sounder.” Practicing Stoicism helps 
you improve yourself as a person; it teaches you to mindfully live by a set 
of desirable values such as courage, patience, self-discipline, serenity, 
perseverance, forgiveness, kindness, and humility. Its many anchors offer 
security and guidance and will level up your confidence.

And you can get that too. In fact, Stoic philosophy made the good life a 
reachable goal for everybody, cutting through social classes—whether 
you’re rich or poor, healthy or sick, well-educated or not, it makes no 
difference to your ability to live the good life. The Stoics were living proof 
that it’s possible for someone to be exiled to a desert island and still be 
happier than someone living in a palace. They understood very well that 
there’s only a loose connection between external circumstances and our 
happiness.

In Stoicism, what you do with the given circumstances matters much 
more. Stoics recognized that the good life depends on the cultivation of 



one’s character, oil one's choices and actions rather than on what happens 
in the uncontrollable world around us. This, my fellow Stoic student, is at 
the root of a tough and at the same time highly attractive aspect of 
Stoicism—it makes us responsible and deprives us of any excuses for not 
living the best life possible.

You and I, we’re responsible for our own flourishing. We’re responsible for 
not letting our happiness depend on external circumstances—we shouldn’t 
let the rain, annoying strangers, or a leaking washing machine decide 
upon our wellbeing. Otherwise, we become helpless victims of life 
circumstances out of hand. As a Stoic student, you learn that only you can 
ruin your life and only you can refuse to let your inner self be conquered 
by whatever nasty challenge life throws at you.

So, Stoicism teaches us to live by a set of values that contribute to 
emotional resilience, calm confidence, and a clear direction in life. Just 
like an old reliable walking stick, it’s a guide to life based on reason rather 
than faith, a guide that supports us in the pursuit of self-mastery, 
perseverance, and wisdom. Stoicism makes us better human beings and 
teaches us how to excel in life.

Its powerful psychological techniques are almost identical to the ones that 
are now proven to be effective by research in the scientific study called 
Positive Psychology’. I am not accusing the researchers of theft, but the 
exercises discussed in Positive Psychology look suspiciously similar to the 
ones the Stoics used over two thousand years ago. The fact that modern 
research often goes hand in hand with what the Stoics taught makes the 
philosophy even more appealing. On top of that, Stoicism isn’t rigid, but 
open and looking for the truth. As a Latin saying goes: “Zeno [founder of 
Stoicism] is our friend but truth is an even greater friend.”

If we look around, we see countless people who pursued their dreams of a 
golden mansion, a Porsche 911, and a six-figure job, and yet they’re not 
happier than before with the moldy flat, the rusty old car, and the cheap 
job. They’re living by a formula that looks something like this: If you work 



hard, you'll be successful, and once you’re successful, then you’ll be happy. 
Or, if I finish/get/achieve such and such, then I’ll be happy. The only 
problem? This formula is broken. And after following this formula for 
years, these people are wondering: Is this really all life has to offer?

No, it’s not. The point is, many people don’t get any happier when they 
grow older, they don’t improve whatsoever. They mindlessly stroll through 
a life lacking clear direction, repeatedly make the same mistakes, and 
won’t be any closer to a happy and meaningful life in their eighties than 
they were in their twenties.

It should really be a no-brainer for many of  us to adopt a philosophy of life 
that offers guidance, direction, and a larger meaning to life. Without that 
compass, there’s the risk that despite all our well-intentioned actions, we'll 
run in circles, chase worthless things, and end up living ail unfulfilling life 
full of emotional suffering, regrets, and frustration. And since it doesn’t 
take much effort to give Stoicism a chance as your guiding philosophy of 
life, there’s really nothing to lose and much to gain.

The promise of this book is really the promise of Stoic philosophy: It 
teaches how to live a supremely happy and smoothly flowing life and how 
to retain that even in the face of adversity. It prepares you to be ready for 
anything, like a tower of strength—unshakable, deep-rooted, emotionally 
resilient, and surprisingly calm and mindful even in the midst of a hellfire. 

Stoicism can improve your life in good times, but it’s in bad times when its 
efficacy becomes most apparent. It can be the light showing you the way 
through pitch-black depressive moments. It holds your hand when you 
need confidence to minimize emotional suffering by taming the bad guys 
like anger, fear, and grief. It can be your stepping stool to reach that 
tranquility you need when you’re knee-deep in shit. It can be your strong 
backbone when you need to act courageously even when you’re shaking 
like a leaf. It can be the clown that wakes you up and casts a smile on your 
face when you need it the most.



In short. Stoicism not only shows you the way but also hands you the key 
to the good life. All you need to do is walk the path, turn the key, and 
enter. So, Stoic teacher Epictetus asks, “How long are you going to wait?”

“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best of yourself?” 
You’re no longer a child but a full-grown person, and yet you 
procrastinate, Epictetus reminds himself “You will not notice that you are 
making no progress but you will live and die as someone quite ordinary.” 
From nowon, he warns himself, and all of us, to live like a mature human 
being and never set aside what you think is best to do. And whenever you 
encounter anything difficult, remember that the contest is now, you are at 
the Olympics, you cannot wait any longer.

We don't have the luxury of postponing our training, because unlike the 
Olympic Games, the contest we participate in every day—life—has already 
begun. Life is right now, it’s about time to start our training.

Training in Stoicism is a bit like surfing—little theory and lots of practice. 
Right now, you can't wait to get started and you imagine yourself standing 
on the surfboard hitting wave after wave, having the time of your life . . . 
wait, I have to stop you there. Because in your first surf lesson, you get to 
learn some theoretical aspects of surfing too. On the dry land, you practice 
how to paddle, pop up, and stand on the board. In other words, the first 
part feels annoying—you just wanted to surf, you didn’t sign up for that 
dry theory lesson.

Surprisingly quickly you make it through the theoiy part and you get to 
enter the water, flush out the sandy mouth, and start your practice. In the 
water, you quickly realize that it’s not so easy, and the theoiy part was 
actually necessary. It’s the same with Stoicism. You’ll get to hit the waves, 
but if you want to hit them successfully and not give up after the first few 
(many) nosedives, you first need to understand some of the theoiy behind 
surfing ... ahem, Stoicism.

I sought to organize this book and present the ancient wisdom in an 



accessible, digestible, and highly functional way. In the first part, you’ll 
learn about the promise of the philosophy, its history, main philosophers, 
and about the core principles presented as the Stoic Happiness Triangle. 
Study that triangle and you’re able to explain the philosophy to a five-year- 
old. The second part is all about hitting the waves; it’s crammed with 
practical advice and exercises for everyday living.

My ultimate aim of this direct and straightforward approach to Stoicism is 
to help you live a better life. I believe we can all become a little wiser and 
happier by practicing this wonderful philosophy.

It’s time to dive in.



Part 1

What is Stoicism?

“If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it/' 
- Marcus Aurelius



Chapter i

The Promise of Stoic Philosophy

No tree becomes deep-rooted and sturdy unless strong winds blow against 
it. This shaking and pulling is what makes the tree tighten its grip and 
plant its roots more securely; the fragile trees are those grown in a sunny 
valley. “Why then/’ asks Seneca, “do you wonder that good men are 
shaken in order that they may grow strong?” Just like for the trees, heavy 
rain and strong winds are to the advantage of good people, it’s how they 
may grow calm, disciplined, humble, and strong.

Just like the tree must tighten its grip not to fall down with eveiy breeze, 
we must strengthen our position if we don’t want to be swept off our feet 
by eveiy trifle. This is what Stoic philosophy is here for—it will make you 
stronger and let the same rain and wind appear lighter and keep you on 
your feet at all times. In other words, it will prepare you to deal more 
effectively with whatever stormy weather life throws at you.
From wrestling philosophers to emotional wolves, this first chapter covers 
all you need to know about the promise of Stoic philosophy, or why you 
should get into Stoicism.

Warning: This book will contain some scary words like eudaimonia, 
arete, or virtue. Their unknown looks will make you want to turn the page, 
so brace yourself and stand strong. Despite the resistance, it will pay off to 
hang in there and you might even add them to your everyday vocabulary. 
And hey, this wouldn’t be ancient philosophy without at least some scary 
words.

Practice the Art of Living: Become a Warrior-



Philosopher

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to 
do ” - Epictetus

How to live a good life? This classic philosophic question stands at the 
origin of the primary concern of Stoic philosophy: How to live one’s life, or 
' the art of living.” Stoic teacher Epictetus compared philosophy to 
artisans: As wood is to the carpenter, and bronze to the sculptor, so are 
our own lives the proper material in the art of living. Philosophy is not 
reserved for wise old men, it’s an essential craft for everybody who wants 
to learn how to live (and die) well. Every life situation presents a blank 
canvas or a block of marble that we can sculpt and train on, so that over a 
lifetime we can master our craft. That’s basically what Stoicism does, it 
teaches us how to excel in life, it prepares us to face adversity calmly, and 
simply helps us sculpt and enjoy a good life.

What makes someone good at living? According to Epictetus, it's neither 
wealth, nor high-office, nor being a commander. There must be something 
else. Just like someone who wants to be good at handwriting must practice 
and know a lot about handwriting, or someone who wants to be good in 
music must study music, someone who wants to be good at living, 
therefore, must have good knowledge of how to live. Makes sense, right? 
Seneca, another important Stoic philosopher we 11 get to know in Chapter 
2, said that ‘‘[the philosopher] is the one who knows the fundamental 
thing: how to live.”

A “philosopher” literally translates from the Greek into a “lover of 
wisdom,” someone who loves to learn how to live, someone who wants to 
attain practical wisdom concerning how to actually live their life. As 
Epictetus told us before, if we want to become good at living, we must 
attain knowledge on how to live. This might surprise you, but philosophy 
is really a matter of practice, learning how to sculpt our lives. Thinking 
and philosophizing about the blank block of marble won’t teach us how to 



skillfully use chisel and mallet. The Stoics were particularly concerned 
with applying philosophy to everyday life. They saw themselves as 
veritable warriors of the mind and thought the primary reason to study 
philosophy was to put it into practice.

This is a great comparison made by author Donald Robertson in his book 
The Philosophy of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. He said that in ancient 
times, the ideal philosopher was a veritable warrior of the mind, but in 
modern times, “the philosopher has become something more bookish, not 
a warrior, but a mere librarian of the mind.'’ Think of the old grey 
philosopher teacher. So we want to be warriors and what matters most is 
not our ability to recite Stoic principles, but to actually live them out in the 
real world. As Epictetus asked his students, “If you didn’t learn these 
things in order to demonstrate them in practice, what did you learn them 
for?” He continued that they (his students) were not hungry and 
courageous enough to go out in the real world and demonstrate the theory 
in practice, “Which is why I would like to escape to Rome to see my 
favorite wrestler in action, he, at least, puts policy into practice.”

True philosophy is a matter of little theory and a lot of practice, like 
wrestling in the ancient and surfing in the modern world. Remember, in 
surfing, we get to practice in the water after a quick theory part on the 
beach. Heavy waves are better teachers than heavy school books. And 
Stoicism demands exactly that, to go out there in the real world and 
vigorously apply what we’ve learned in the classroom. Our lives offer the 
perfect training ground for daily practice with its uncountable green waves 
and blank marble blocks.

This practical "art of living” dimension of Stoicism holds two main 
promises: First, it teaches how to live a happy and smoothly flowing life, 
and second, it teaches you how to stay emotionally resilient to retain that 
happy and smoothly flowing life even in the face of adversity. Let’s dive 
into the first promise and tackle the first of the scary words: eudaimonia.



Promise #1: Eudaimonia

“Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to 
bubble up, if you just dig.” - Marcus Aurelius

Imagine the best version of yourself. Look inside, do you see and know 
who that highest version of you is, the one who acts right in all situations, 
the one who makes no mistakes and seems unbeatable? If you’re anything 
like me and have been trying to improve yourself, then you probably know 
this ideal version of yourself. Well, in Greek, this best version would be the 
inner daimon, an inner spirit or divine spark. For the Stoics and all other 
schools of ancient philosophy, the ultimate goal of life was eudaimonia, to 
become good (eu) with your inner daimon. (Not to be confused with 
demon, which is a bad spirit.)



The Stoics believed that nature wants us to become that highest version of 
ourselves. This is why the inner daimon (or divine spark) has been planted 
within all of us like a seed, so that we have it in our natural potential to 
become that highest version of ourselves. In other words, it’s our nature to 
complete what’s been started with that divine seed and bring our human 
potential to life. To become good with our inner daimon, to live in 
harmony with our ideal self is, therefore, to get as close as possible to that 
high potential self.

We should close the gap between who were capable of being (our ideal 
self) and who we actually are in that moment. How can we do that? The 
Stoics had a word for that too: arete. In short, arete directly translates as 
“virtue" or “excellence,” but it has a pro founder meaning—something like 
“expressing the highest version of yourself in every moment." We’ll dive 
deeper into that in Chapter 3, but you can already see that Stoicism deals 
with your moment-to-moment actions and with living as close as possible 
to your ideal self.

The Stoics’ overarching goal was eudaimonia; to be good with your inner 
daimon, to live in harmony with your ideal self, to express your highest 
version of yourself in every moment. But what does that mean exactly? 
The most common translation of the Greek word eud aim onia is happiness. 
The translations “flourishing” or “thriving," however, capture the original 
meaning better because they indicate a form of continuing action—you can 
only be good with your daimon when your moment-to-moment actions are 
in harmony with your ideal self. You flourish at living well, and only os a 
consequence you’ll feel happy.

Eudaimonia refers more to the overall quality of someone’s life rather than 
a temporary mood such as happiness. It’s a condition in which a person is 
thriving and living optimally well and supremely happy. As Zeno, the 
founder of Stoicism, puts it, “happiness is a smoothly flowing life.” This 
entails that your life generally flows smoothly. Let’s conclude that 
eudaimonia is a happy and smoothly flowing life that comes from thriving 
at bringing our moment-to-moment actions into harmony with our 



highest self

This promise of eud aim onia entails that we’re armed with all we need to 
deal with whatever challenge we’re facing in life. How else can we stay 
happy even when life gets tough? Because life is pretty easy when things 
are going well, it only gets arduous when things seem to turn against us, 
when we’re facing difficulties and struggles. This brings us to the second 
promise of Stoicism: Philosophy trains us to be able to take on every 
obstacle in life with the right mindset so that life keeps on going smoothly. 

Promise #2: Emotional Resilience

“To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and 
burden." - Seneca

“But what is philosophy?” asks Epictetus. “Doesn’t it mean making 
preparation to meet the things that come upon us?” Yes, he says, 
philosophy prepares us to endure whatever happens. “Otherwise, it would 
be like the boxer leaving the ring because he took some punches.” We 
could actually leave the ring without any consequences, but what if we’d 
abandon the pursuit of wisdom? “So, what should each of us say to every 
trial we face? This is what I’ve trained for, this is my discipline!” Hey, a 
boxer who gets punched in the face won’t leave the ring, it’s what he 
prepared for, it’s his discipline. And the same is true for philosophers; just 
because life slaps, kicks, spits, and knocks us out doesn't mean we should 
give up and leave, it means we should get back up and keep on getting 
better. Such is life—it's like our boxing ring, punches and kicks are what 
we’ve signed up for, this is our discipline.

“Unharmed prosperity cannot endure a single blow,” says Seneca, but a 
man who has gone through countless misfortunes “acquires a skin 
calloused by suffering.” This man fights to the ground and carries on the 
fight even on his knees. He will never give up. The Stoics loved wrestling 
metaphors, so Marcus Aurelius similarly says, “The art of living is more 



like wrestling than dancing." We need to be prepared for sudden attacks. 
Nobody will ever tackle a dancer. The dancer will never get choked by
adversity like a wrestler. So, as warrior-philosophers, we know that life 
will be challenging. Actually, we should even be rubbing our hands 
together and be looking forward to take some punches, knowing they will 
make us stronger and grow our skin thicker.

This is why we should want to engage and train in this fight they call life. 
Because we want to be strong, we want to live happy and smoothly flowing 
lives. We want to handle ourselves and our actions when life gets tough. 
We want to be a tower of strength, unshakable even at the peak of a rage 
attack. When others panic, we want to stay cool, well-considered, and be 
able to be the best we can be.

Practicing Stoicism helps us develop the tools to deal as effectively as 
humanly possible with whatever kicks and punches life throws at us. No 
matter what happens in our lives—we’re ready for anything—we’re 
prepared to take hooks and si de-kicks, never give up, and make the best of 
it. This is the promise of Stoic philosophy. Yet, right now, if you get 
punched in the face, what’s going to happen? You get emotional. Like 
everybody else, you either angrily fight back, or more likely, you start 
crying. The Stoics identified strong emotions as our ultimate weakness; 
especially when we let them dictate our behavior. They’re toxic to 
eudaimonia and they’re at the root of all human suffering. Unfortunately, 
according to the Stoics, most of us are enslaved to passions—strong 
negative emotions such as irrational fear, grief, or anger. This is why so 
many of us are miserable, we’re far away from being a tower of strength, 
we’re far away from being at good terms with our ideal self. Our passions 
cause us to act far beneath of what we’re capable of.

If we want to be able to act like our ideal self, say the Stoics, we need to 
keep our emotions in check, we need to tame them so they won’t get in the 
way of the good life. No, thank you, I can’t afford to panic right now.

Tame Restricting Emotions (± Unemotional)



The promise of Stoic philosophy consists of both the supremely happy life 
(eudaimonia) and the preparation (ready for anything) to deal effectively
with whatever life throws at us. Yet, we can only deal well with life’s 
challenges when we’re emotionally resilient and don’t let our emotions 
jerk us around.

This is why we need to make progress toward taming and overcoming 
disturbing desires and emotions, so that, as Seneca puts it, the glitter of 
gold doesn’t dazzle our eyes more than the flash of a sword, and that we 
can easily wave aside what other people crave and fear. This overcoming of
one’s emotions is sometimes called the Stoic “therapy of the passions” and 
might be the reason why Epictetus said: “The philosopher’s school is a 
doctor’s clinic.”

Now, if we imagine a doctor’s clinic to have a couch in it, then, with some 
cliche, we get a psychotherapist’s room. Back in Epictetus’ days, when you 
had problems with your mind or soul, you wouldn’t see a shrink but a 
philosopher instead—they were the preferred doctors of the mind. The 
Stoics were great observers of the human mind and actually had many 
important psychological insights. They realized, for example, that what
makes insults hurtful isn’t their content, but our interpretation of those 
insults. They had a proper understanding of our mind and developed 
psychological techniques to prevent and deal with negative emotions 
(most techniques will be covered in the second part of this book).

Although Stoicism is a philosophy, it has a significant psychological 
component to it. Many of its beliefs, such as the goal to thrive as human 
beings, go hand in hand with modern research in Positive Psychology; this 
is something I find highly intriguing about Stoicism. It’s beyond the scope 
of this book to look at the science behind the Stoic ideas, but if you happen 
to read a book on Positive Psychology, you’ll see the consonance (Shawn 
Achor’s The Happiness Advantage is a fantastic start.)

Just as there are ailments to the body, there are ailments to the mind; and 
the Stoics were well aware of that. They said it’s impossible to flourish in 



life while being tormented by irrational emotions. Therefore, we need 
apatheia—the ability to overcome these interfering emotions. That's 
where the word “apathy” comes from, and it’s a main reason for the classic 
misunderstanding that the Stoics were somehow unemotional or seeking 
to suppress their feelings. The other reason for that misunderstanding 
comes from the lowercase word stoic which means to “suck it up” or 
having a “stiff upper lip” and has absolutely nothing to do with the 
uppercase Stoicism this book is all about. Let’s clear out this “Stoics are 
emotionless” misunderstanding right now.

Stoicism has nothing to do with suppressing or hiding one’s emotions or 
being emotionless. Rather, it’s about acknowledging our emotions, 
reflecting on what causes them, and learning to redirect them for our own 
good. In other words, it’s more about unslaving ourselves from negative 
emotions, more like taming rather than getting rid of them.

Imagine strong emotions to be like your inner wolf—immensely powerful 
when let loose and able to pull you wherever it wants to. Emotions activate 
an action tendency—when you feel angiy, for example, you have the 
tendency to clench your fists, shout, and throw stuff. Basically, when the 
inner wolf is angry, we let it take over, and then we blindly follow the 
action tendency and act out. What the Stoics found, however, is that we 
don’t need to follow that tendency. We can train ourselves to act calmly 
despite feeling angiy, act courageously despite feeling anxious, and going 
east despite the wolf pulling west.

Fortunately, we don’t need to pretend the wolf isn’t there, or even kill it 
(which isn’t even possible). The Stoics want us to tame and learn to 
understand that wolf. Instead of letting it dictate our actions when it’s 
angry, anxious, or hungry, we act calmly despite the anger. It can snarl 
and howl as much as it wants, we don’t fear it and act as we choose to. The 
wolf doesn’t have a say in our decisions any longer despite feeling the 
action tendency.

The goal isn’t to eliminate all emotions, the goal is to not get overwhelmed 



by them despite their immense power. We feel the emotional wolf, but we 
keep on our path despite it pulling in another direction. “Okay, the wolf
wants to freak out, but what would it help?” we say to ourselves. We rise 
above our emotions, we can hear it snarl, but we know we neither need to 
listen nor follow along.

The Stoics weren’t unemotional people with hearts of stone. They 
acknowledged that desires and emotions are part of nature, but we have it 
within our power to rise above them and not get (too) disturbed by them. 
“No school has more goodness and gentleness; none has more love for 
human beings.” says Seneca. “The goal which it assigns to us is to be 
useful, to help others, and to take care, not only of ourselves, but of
everyone.” The Stoics do care for their loved ones and fellow citizens; they 
just tame their emotions so they won’t get irrationally overwhelmed by 
them. As Seneca puts it, there’s nothing impressive about “putting up with 
that which one doesn’t feel.” Stoic author Donald Robertson explains it 
well: “A brave man isn’t someone who doesn’t experience any trace of fear 
whatsoever but someone who acts courageously despite feeling anxiety."

The Stoics want us to conquer our passions by becoming stronger than 
them and not by eliminating them. We will always feel the emerging 
emotional wolf, but we can train ourselves to recognize our tendency 
toward following along, and then deliberately choose whether to follow 
along or not. Stoicism will help us get less plagued by negative emotions 
and, at the same time, experience more positive emotions such as joy or 
tranquility. It’s important to notice, however, that for the Stoics, these 
positive emotions are more like an added bonus than a motive by 
themselves. Let's look closer at tranquility’ as a by-product of practicing 
Stoicism.

Practice Stoicism and Become more Tranquil as a By-Product 
It may come as a surprise, but  Stoicism is a rather joyful philosophy of life. 
When you read the Stoics, you find cheerful and optimistic people fully 
enjoying what life has to offer. They weren’t unemotional, they just 
recognized that strong emotions were their weakness and stood in their 



way to live as they’re capable of.

Remember, the ultimate goal of life is eudaimonia—the happy and 
smoothly flowing life that comes from thriving at expressing your ideal 
version moment to moment to moment. And if you’re enslaved to your 
emotional wolf, then you panic and follow your action tendencies that are 
way beneath of what you’re capable of. That’s why the Stoics want us to 
minimize the effects that strong emotions have oil our lives, they want us 
to tame that wolf so that we can stay at the steering wheel at all times 
instead of letting the wolf take over whenever it wants to. Only then can 
we express our highest version and lastly live a happy and smoothly 
flowing life.

So when we’re not enslaved to our emotions, we can express the highest 
version of ourselves in eveiy moment. When we do that, there’s simply no 
room for regret, fear, or insecurity. What results from this is a really 
helpful side effect—tranquility. In today’s hectic world, it’s what so many 
of us seek, to be able to stay calm, feel confident and secure, even in the 
midst of chaos. If we practice Stoicism, this is exactly what we get as a by­
product. It’s a by-product because it’s not what the Stoics sought in the 
first place. They didn’t seek tranquility, they sought eudaimonia, and 
tranquility came as an added (and welcomed) bonus. So it wouldn’t really
be consistent with Stoicism to practice it for tranquility’s sake.

What’s tranquility anyway? Seneca talks about the power of euthymia in 
his classic letters. He tells us that euthymia, which gets translated as 
tranquility, is all about knowing your path and walking that path. It’s the 
feeling we get when we truly and utterly trust ourselves. You’re confident 
that what you’re doing is right, and you don’t need to listen left and right 
for what others have to say. You don't need to second guess and compare 
yourself to others all the time. You trust in what you’re doing because 
you’re trying your best, and you’re living accordingly to your values and 
know it’s all you can do.

It’s the calm confidence you feel when you’re living your authentic self in



integrity with your highest values. You get that peace of mind, says Seneca, 
because you have an unchanging standard you live by, not like the rest of 
mankind who “continually ebb and flow in their decisions, floating in a 
condition where they alternately reject things and seek them.”

Stoicism will give you many anchors to hold yourself onto, so you can find 
your path and walk it assured. This will cause you to gain an inner 
tranquility, a calm confidence at all times, even when life gets tough and
shows its meanest kicks and punches. Because you know why you do what 
you do. You have this inner security that you’re doing the right thing and, 
come what may, you’re steadfast like that tower of strength, and nothing 
can root you out.



Chapter 2

A Quick History Lesson

“I made a prosperous voyage when I suffered shipwreck." - Zeno of 
Citium

The year is around 320 BCE. A Phoenician merchant suffers shipwreck 
somewhere between Cyprus and the Greek mainland in the Mediterranean 
Sea. He just lost all his mu rex dye, a highly valuable purple-colored dye
won from the murex sea snail, and with that all his wealth. We are talking 
about Zeno of Citium who, thanks to this shipwreck, should become the 
founder of Stoicism many years later.

Zeno’s father was a merchant himself and used to return home from his  
travels with books purchased in the Greek city of Athens. This might be  
the reason why after the accident at sea, Zeno went to Athens, sat down in 
a book store, and read about the Athenian philosopher Socrates who  
taught around a century earlier. Zeno was so impressed that he asked the  
bookseller where men like this Socrates could be found. The bookseller  
pointed in the direction of Crates the Cynic, who was just walking by, and  
said, “Follow yonder man.”

Indeed Zeno did follow Crates, who was a leading philosopher at the time,  
and became his pupil for years to come. Zeno was happy how his life took  
a turn and said, “It is well done of thee, Fortune, thus to drive me to  
philosophy.” When looking back on the shipwreck time in his life, Zeno 
later commented, “I made a prosperous voyage when I suffered 
shipwreck.”

Note:  This intriguing shipwreck story was written down by Greek 
biographer Diogenes Laertius in his Lives  of  Eminent  Philosophers around 



150 years after Zeno's death. There are different versions of the story and
the dates are inconsistent and contradictory. So we can’t be sure whether 
this is the true story or just the most attractive founding story of Stoicism.

After studying with Crates for a time, Zeno chose to go and study with
other leading philosophers, before he started his own philosophy several 
years later in around 301 BCE. Initially, his followers were called 
Zenonians, but came to be known as Stoics because Zeno gave his lectures 
in the Stoa Poikile, the "Painted Porch,” a famous colonnade decorated 
with paintings of historical battles, located in the Athenian city center. 
Stoicism was born. Unlike other schools of philosophy, the Stoics followed 
the example of their hero Socrates and met outside in the public, on this 
porch, where anyone could listen. So Stoic philosophy was for academic 
and ordinary people alike and therefore it was something like a 
“philosophy of the street.”

As we’ve seen. Stoicism was not born out of nowhere, its founder Zeno and 
the early Stoics had been influenced by different philosophical schools and 
thinkers, especially by Socrates, the Cynics (like Crates), and by the 
Academics (followers of Plato). The Stoics adopted Socrates’ question: 
How to live a good life? They focused on applying philosophy to everyday 
challenges, on developing a good character and becoming better human 
beings who excelled in life and cared about other people and nature itself. 
One thing the Stoics changed from the Cynics was that they abandoned the 
Cynic asceticism. Unlike the Cynics, the Stoics favored a lifestyle that 
allowed simple comforts. They argued that people should enjoy the good 
things in life without clinging to them. As Marcus Aurelius later said, "If 
you must live in a palace, then you can also live well in a palace.” This 
allowance of comfort was something that made Stoicism more attractive 
back then, and certainly today too.

After the death of Zeno (who, by the way, was so admired by the Athenians 
that they built a bronze statue of him), Stoicism kept its place as a leading 
Athenian school of philosophy (alongside others) until 155 BCE, when 
something very important happened to ancient philosophy—the heads of



Stoicism (Diogenes of Babylon) and other schools of philosophy were 
chosen as ambassadors to represent Athens in political negotiations with 
Rome, in Rome. While the negotiations are of little interest, the cultural 
impact this visit had is not. The Athenians gave packed lectures and 
sparked an interest in philosophy among the rather conservative Romans. 
Stoicism became a thriving school in Rome with all the famous Stoics 
whose writings serve as the major source of the philosophy today: Seneca, 
Musonius Rufus, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius (we’ll get to them 
shortly.)

Stoicism was one of the most influential and respected schools of 
philosophy for nearly five subsequent centuries. It was practiced by the 
rich and the poor, the powerful and the sufferer alike, in the pursuit of the 
good life. However, after the deaths of its famous teachers—Musonius 
Rufus, Epictetus, and the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius—Stoicism fell 
into a slump from which it has yet to recover. The lack of charismatic 
teachers and the rise of Christianity are the main reasons for the decline of 
the once so popular philosophy.

The idea of Stoicism, however, found its way into many writings of 
historical philosophers such as Descartes, Schopenhauer, and Thoreau. 
And it is finding its way back into the lives of ordinary people like you and 
me (no offense). This comeback of Stoicism can be traced back to Viktor 
Frankl’s logotherapy and Albert Ellis’ rational emotive behavior therapy, 
both of which were influenced by Stoic philosophy. In more recent years, 
authors such as Pierre Ha dot, William Irvine, Donald Robertson, and 
especially Ryan Holiday have accelerated the return of Stoicism.

The Most Important Stoic Philosophers

Look around, you’re in the middle of thousands of excited people swinging 
their flags, shouting and cheering madly for their favorite chariot racers 
down in the arena of the Circus Maximus—zoom out, go half a mile north, 
zoom in—Roar! Straight in f ront of you, a gladiator fighting a lion, on your 



right, a gladiator aiming his spear in your direction, left, a monstrous 
elephant sprinting at you'. In these dramatic times, our main characters 
taught and practiced Stoic philosophy. Although philosophy is much less 
exciting than bloody battles in the Colosseum (where you just got smashed 
by an elephant), it's the philosophy that survived until today. For good 
reasons as you’ll learn in the following chapters.

Now, we’ll look at the four Roman Stoics whose writings and teachings 
survived for nearly two millennia and now build the foundation of 
Stoicism: Seneca, Musonius Rufus, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius. It's 
said that over a thousand books had been written on Stoic philosophy but 
only a handful survived—mainly the ones from these luminaries.

Luckily, these brilliant (but also flawed) men did not live in caves 
somewhere in the mountains, but all of them were fully engaged in society 
and worked hard to make the world a better place. You’ll meet an 
incredible wealthy playwright and equivalent of the modern-day 
entrepreneur, you’ll meet an early feminist, and a crippled slave who 
should become the main influence of the Roman Emperor and mightiest 
person in the world. To stay true to the name of this book, we ll only 
scratch the surface of these fascinating lives of the four most important 
Stoic philosophers.

Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BCE — 65 CE)
“If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.” - Seneca

The most controversial Stoic philosopher, Lucius Annaeus Seneca, mainly 
known as Seneca the Younger or simply Seneca, was born around the time 
of Jesus in Cordoba, Spain, and educated in Rome, Italy. He is renowned 
as one of the finest writers of antiquity and many of his essays and 
personal letters survived and serve as an important source of Stoic 
philosophy. These writings speak to us because he focused on the practical 
aspect of Stoicism, down to how to take a trip, how to deal with adversity 
and its provoked emotions such as grief or anger, how to handle oneself 
while committing suicide (which he was ordered to do), how to deal with 



wealth (which he only knew too well), and poverty.

Seneca lived an extraordinary life, a life that raises many questions when 
studied closely. Apart from his letters which are still read almost two 
millennia after his passing, he made it into the history books for many 
more reasons. He was a successful playwright. He got extremely wealthy 
thanks to smart financial undertakings (the modern-day entrepreneur and 
investor if you will). He was exiled for committing adultery with the 
emperor’s niece to what he called the “barren and thorny rock” Corsica— 
which, by the way, is a popular holiday destination known for diverse and 
scenic landscapes. After eight years of exile, the emperor’s new wife 
wanted Seneca as a tutor to her son Nero.

Once Nero became emperor, Seneca was promoted to his advisor and 
became one of the wealthiest people in the Roman Empire. According to 
author Nassim Taleb, who devoted a whole chapter to Seneca in his book 
Antifragile, “his fortune was three hundred million denarii (for a sense of 
equivalence, at about the same period in time, Judas got thirty denarii, the 
equivalent of a month's salary, to betray Jesus)." This extreme wealth 
while being a philosopher that promoted the indifference of external 
possessions is a reason why Seneca sometimes gets called a hypocrite. The 
other fact that raises questions is that he was the tutor and advisor of 
Emperor Nero, who was a self-indulgent and cruel ruler and had his 
mother and many other people killed. In 65 CE, Nero ordered Seneca to 
commit suicide because he was supposedly involved in a conspiracy 
against the Emperor.

Hypocrite or not, Seneca lived a turbulent life full of riches and power but 
also of philosophy and introspection (he understood well enough that he 
was imperfect). Stoicism remained a constant in his life and stamped his 
many helpful and inspirational letters that I ll quote liberally throughout 
this book.

Musonius Rufus (c. 30 CE — c. 100 CE)
“Since every man dies, it is better to die with distinction than to live long.” 



- Mu son ins Rufus

The least known of the four great Roman Stoics, Gaius Musonius Rufus 
taught Stoic philosophy in his own school. We know little about his life 
and teachings because he didn’t bother to write anything down. 
Fortunately, one of Musonius’ pupils, Lucius, took notes during the 
lectures. Rufus advocated for a practical and lived philosophy. As he put it, 
’’Just as there is no use in medical study unless it leads to the health of the 
human body, so there is no use to a philosophical doctrine unless it leads 
to the virtue of the human souk" He offered detailed advice on eating 
habits, sex life, how to dress properly, and how to behave toward one’s 
parents. Besides thinking philosophy should be highly practical, he 
thought it should be universal. He argued that women and men alike can 
benefit from education and the study of philosophy.

Musonius Rufus was the most prominent Stoic teacher at the time and his 
influence in Rome was respectable. Too much so for tyrannical Emperor 
Nero that he exiled him to the Greek island Gyaros in 65 CE (and yes, exile 
was common in ancient Rome). Seneca’s description of Corsica as a 
“barren and thorny rock” would have fitted much better to Gyaros, which 
really was (and still is) a desert-like island. After Nero’s death in 68 CE, 
Musonius returned to Rome for seven years before he got exiled again. He 
died in around too CE and left behind not only the few lecture notes from 
Lucius, but also his most famous pupil. Epictetus, who as we’ll see right 
now, became an influential Stoic teacher himself.

Epictetus (c. 55 CE — c. 135 CE)
“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.” - Epictetus

Epictetus was born a slave in Hierapolis (present-day Pamukkale in 
Turkey). His real name, if he had one, is unknown. Epictetus simply 
means “property” or “the thing that was bought.” He was acquired by 
Epaphroditos, a wealthy freedman (that is, a former slave himself) who 
worked as a secretary to Emperor Nero in Rome, the place where 
Epictetus spent his youth. He was crippled in one leg either by birth or by 



an injury received from a former master. His new master Epaphroditos 
treated him well and allowed him to study Stoic philosophy under the 
most renowned teacher in Rome, Musonius Rufus.

Sometime after Nero’s death in 68 CE, Epictetus was freed by his master— 
a common practice in Rome with intelligent and educated slaves. He 
started his own school and taught Stoic philosophy for nearly twenty-five 
years until the Emperor Domitian famously banished all philosophers 
from Rome. Epictetus fled and moved his school to Nicopolis, Greece, 
where he led a simple life with few possessions. After the assassination of 
Domitian, Stoicism regained its respectability and became popular among 
the Romans. Epictetus was the leading Stoic teacher at the time and could 
have moved back to Rome, but chose to stay in Nicopolis, where he died in 
around 135 CE. Despite its location, his school attracted students from all 
around the Roman Empire and taught them, among other things, how to 
retain dignity and tranquility even in the face of life’s hardships.

Just like his own teacher Musonius Rufus, Epictetus didn’t write anything 
down. Fortunately, there was again a geek among the students, Arrian, 
who radically took notes and wrote the famous Discourses—a series of 
extracts of Epictetus’ lectures. (Now I’m the geek who is trying to organize 
all of Stoicism into a little book . . .) Arrian also compiled the short book 
Enchiridion, a summary of the most important principles of the 
Discourses. Enchiridion often gets translated as Handbook, but it literally 
means “ready at hand”—more like a dagger than a handbook, always ready 
to deal with life’s challenges.

Marcus Aurelius (121 CE -180 CE)
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other 
people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” - Marcus 
Aurelius

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” 
These words were written not by some slouch but by a rare example of a 
philosopher king and, at the time, most powerful man on earth—Marcus



Aurelius, emperor of the legendary Roman Empire. He is the most well- 
known of all the Stoic philosophers and his Meditations, a series of 12 
short books which he wrote entirely to himself (like a diary) as his own 
guidance and self-improvement, is considered one of the greatest works of 
philosophy of all time.

As a teenager, it's said Marcus not only enjoyed activities such as 
wrestling, boxing, and hunting, but also philosophy. He studied with 
different philosophers, one of which lent him a copy of Epictetus’ 
Discourses, which became the single most important influence on him. 
When he was sixteen, Emperor Hadrian adopted Marcus’ maternal uncle 
Antoninus, who in turn adopted Marcus (his real father died when he was 
younger). When Marcus entered palace life, his political power didn’t go to 
his head (he didn't let it), neither as a co-emperor of his adoptive father 
nor as an emperor himself after Antoninus’ death. For one thing, he 
exercised great restraint in his use of power and money. Furthermore, 
despite his interest in Stoic philosophy, he chose not to use his power to 
preach Stoicism and lecture his fellow Romans on the benefits of its 
practices. He was ail exceptionally good emperor and ruled from 161 CE to 
his death in 180 CE and counts as the Zast of a succession of rulers known 
as the Five Good Emperors.



Chapter 3

The Stoic Happiness Triangle

“The blazing fire makes flames and brightness out of everything thrown 
into it.” - Marcus Aurelius

Enough history, it’s time to get to the heart of Stoicism. What did these 
fascinating philosophers believe and teach exactly? How did they plan to 
keep their promise of a supremely happy and smoothly flowing life? How 
can their principles prepare us to face whatever challenge life throws at 
us? And how can we tame our emotions and become an unshakable tower 
of strength? It's simple: you need to go out in the real world and train like 
a warrior-philosopher. But first, you need to know the rules to play by, you 
need to know what to fight for, and you need to know which direction to 
take. These are the core principles of Stoicism that you will learn in this 
part.

Now, you might think this should be fairly easy, spit it out, what are the 
core principles? I thought the same when I stumbled upon Stoicism the 
first time. I quickly got hooked, read quite a bit about it, and told friends 
about this cool philosophy. But when they wanted to know what it exactly 
was, then I failed miserably at explaining it. I realized that despite the 
many texts I'd read, I hardly knew anything about Stoicism, I couldn't 
even manage to explain it properly to friends.

As it turned out, it's not so easy to get a simple overview of the philosophy. 
The original texts—consisting of lecture notes, personal letters, and diary 
entries—don’t offer a clear-cut answer like one out of a textbook. And even 
modern books lack foolproof explanations, I find. It’s often a mix of 
fantastic Stoic ideas, which are definitely worth studying, but fail to bring 



across a simple overview to hold onto.

This is basically the idea behind the Stoic Happiness Triangle. It gives you 
a simple overview of the core principles of Stoicism. If you know the 
triangle, you know and are able to explain the most important aspects of 
what Stoicism is—even to a five-year-old. It’s the best I could come up with 
to present Stoic philosophy in a simple and visual way, combining ancient 
and modern literature. I hope you’ll find it helpful. And keep in mind that 
the Stoic Happiness Triangle is not what the Stoics taught per se, it’s my 
visualization of their core teachings.

The Stoic Happiness Triangle in a Nutshell

Take Responsibility

Eudairnonia: At the core of the triangle is eudaimonia—the ultimate goal
of life all ancient philosophies agreed on. As touched in Chapter 1, this is 



tlie main promise of Stoic philosophy and it’s about living a supremely 
happy and smoothly flowing life. It’s about thriving in our lives. That’s 
basically what we all want, to thrive and live happy lives , right?  That’s why
it’s at the core of the Stoic Happiness Triangle. Do you remember the 
Greek origin of the word? It means being on good terms (eu) with your 
inner daimon, your highest self. And how can we achieve this? By living 
with arete.

Live with Arete: Express your highest self in every moment. If we want 
to be on good terms with our highest self., we need to close the gap 
between what  we’re capable of and what we’re actually doing. This is really
about being your best version in the here and now. It’s about using reason 
in our actions and living in harmony with deep values. This is obviously 
easier said than done, what supports this ambitious goal is to separate 
good from bad and focus on what we control.

Focus on What You Control: This is the most prominent principle in 
Stoicism. At all times, we need to focus on the things we control, and take 
the rest as it happens. What already is has to be accepted because it’s 
beyond our power to undo it. What’s beyond our power is ultimately not 
important for our flourishing. What's important for our flourishing is what 
we choose to do with the given external circumstances. So no matter the 
situation, it’s always within our power to try to make the best with it, and 
to live in harmony with our ideal self.

Take Responsibility: Good and bad come solely from yourself. This 
follows the first two cornel's that say external things don’t matter for the
good life, so living with arete, which is within your control, is enough to 
flourish in life. Also, you’re responsible for your life because every external 
event you don’t control offers an area you can control, namely how you 
choose to respond to this event. This is crucial in Stoicism, it’s not events 
that make us happy or miserable, but our interpretation of those events. 
This is when a tower of strength can be born—the moment you decide to 
give outside events no more power over you.



That's of course just the frame of the triangle, and we barely scratched the 
surface. In the coming pages, we’ll look at each corner in detail with 
clarifying ideas and metaphors, and we’ll get to know the villain that 
hinders so many of us from expressing our highest self moment to 
moment to moment. But first, let’s remember the surfing analogy.

Up next is the highly important but not so fun theory part at the beginning 
of your first surf lesson. Oh. there we go .. . some wise guys run straight 
into the water, despite the warnings. It always happens. Here’s the cool 
thing—once we’re done here and you follow them in the water, you’ll do 
better immediately because they lack the basics, and that’s when you need 
to see their faces—priceless! However, some wall come back earlier 
because they’ve realized they’re lacking something or they’ve hurt 
themselves. Anyway, let’s start without the runaways and you’ll get in the 
water before you know it. On the sand, get set, go!

1. Live with Arete: Express Your Highest Self in Every 
Moment

"A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree 
happiness- Seneca

The first corner of the Stoic Happiness Triangle is Live with Arete. The 
classic translation for this Greek word is “virtue” or ‘‘excellence.” I prefer 
how Brian Johnson, the philosopher behind the website optimize.me, 
translates arete: “Expressing the highest version of yourself moment to 
moment to moment.” Because of this deeper meaning of the word and 
because it apparently was one of the highest ideals of Greek culture, let’s 
use the original word for the name of this first corner of the triangle. We’ll 
necessarily use the common English translation virtue too, so keep that in 
mind.

The ultimate goal of Stoicism is positioned in the center of the triangle: eu- 
daimon-ia, to live a hanny and smoothly flowing life. To achieve this goal.



we need to be on good terms (eiz) with our inner daimon, the highest 
version of ourselves, our natural inborn potential. In whatever you do, 
imagine there are two lines: the higher line indicating what you’re capable 
of and the lower line what you’re actually doing. Living with arete is about 
tiying to reach the higher line and express what you’re capable of in this 
very moment. That’s actualizing the highest version of yourself, that’s 
being on good terms with your inner daimon, that’s when you achieve the 
happy and smoothly flowing life called eudaimonia.

Now, this perfect actualization of our highest selves might not be too hard 
to express in single situations or in our imagination, but drag us out in the 
real world and we fail miserably. And that’s ok, that’s what we’re here for, 
learning about ourselves and how to express our highest version moment 
to moment to moment. That’s why we re tiying to get better, that’s why 



we’re trying to improve our virtue. Think of arete or virtue as a form of
wisdom or strength that helps you do the appropriate thing at all times, so 
that your actions are in harmony with your highest self—courageous, 
disciplined, and kind for example. Virtue is what helps you close the gap 
between what you’re actually doing and what you’re capable of. The bigger 
that gap, the further away you are from eudaimonia, and the worse off you 
are. Because somewhere in the darkness of the gap, they are lurking, the 
bad guys lead by regret, anxiety, and disillusionment.

Alright, virtue is about trying to be the best you can be in every moment. 
And if you’re able to do that, then you'll have a good relationship with your 
highest self and will live a happy and smoothly flawing life. If you’re 
unable to express the highest version of yourself, this will create space for 
regret and anxiety to crawl out of the darkness and spread misery. This is 
highly important to know, but let’s be honest, it doesn’t help much yet. I 
mean, don’t we all want to be the best we can be anyway? (I sure hope so.) 
Now, apart from living with arete, the Stoics used another stock phrase 
for the same goal of expressing the highest version of yourself: living in 
agreement with nature. Let’s unravel that and see whether we’re smarter 
afterward.

The Perfection of Our Natural Potential
The Stoics believed that nature wants us to thrive in life. This is why the 
inner daimon, our highest self, had been planted within all of us like a 
divine seed, so that we have it in our natural potential to become that 
highest version of ourselves. As Musonius Rufus said, we’re all “born with 
an inclination toward virtue.” In other words, it’s our nature to complete 
what’s been started with that divine seed and bring our human potential to 
life. So, a person’s virtue depends on their excellence as a human being, on 
how well they perform their natural potential. To be virtuous, then, is to 
live as nature designed us to live. This is where the Stoic aphorism living 
in agreement with nature comes from.

Put simply, virtue is the same thing for all living beings—the perfection of 
their own nature. So, living with arete is basically to complete our nature.



Without that completion, we lack something and our lives will remain 
unfulfilled. It's clear—if we don’t live up to our innate potential, we ll never 
be fulfilled.

Let’s look at an example in nature. The natural potential of a grape seed is 
to grow into a grapevine and bear grapes. So a grape seed Hues with arete 
or in agreement with nature when it fulfills its natural potential by 
growing into a grapevine and producing grapes.

Just as it’s enough for the good life for the grapevine to produce grapes, 
it’s enough for us to express the highest version of ourselves moment to 
moment to moment. That’s all it takes. Nothing external is required to get 
to the good life—no villa by the beach, no diamond rings, no porcelain 
plates, and generally nothing that hasn’t been planted within as natural 
potential. And that’s something that makes Stoicism so appealing. The 
potential to live the good life is within all of us—whether we’re rich or 
poor, healthy or sick, model-like beautiful or other-kind of beautiful. All of 
us can get to the good life. But I’m getting ahead of myself, we’ll learn 
more about the unimportance of external things in the second corner of 
the Stoic Happiness Triangle.

Your natural potential lies in your highest version of yourself. Yet there’s 
more. The Stoics argued that the most significant difference with other 
animals is the human’s ability to use reason. Stoic teacher Epictetus 
explained that what separates us from wild beasts and sheep is our 
rational element and not the naked skin, weaker bones, or missing tails. 
We negate our veiy humanity and fall to the state of a sheep when we let 
our actions become impulsive and inconsiderate. He asked, “When our 
actions are combative, mischievous, angry, and rude, do we not fall away 
and become wild beasts?"

Epictetus' point is that our ability to use reason is at the core of our 
natural potential we need to fulfil, and it shows best in our actions, by 
expressing it moment to moment to moment. On one hand, the ability to 
use reason is our most precious gift and, if we live by it, we’ll have a happy 



and smoothly flowing life-like a grapevine that produces grapes. On the 
other hand, it's our heaviest burden, because if we fail to live by it, we fall 
to the level of a beast, negate our humanity, and won’t live a happy life— 
much like a grapevine that fails to produce edible grapes.

For the Stoics, then, it’s reasonable to always try to be the best you can be. 
We all have this seed of reason, this seed of our highest self, planted 
within. And therefore, we’ve got the potential to live a virtuous life—that 
is, a life led by reason and expressing our ideal self. This expression shows 
as generally honorable and praiseworthy actions that benefit ourselves and 
others. As learned earlier, virtue is for all living beings the perfection of 
their own nature; in the case of humans, then, virtue is the perfection of 
reason. Put differently, living with arete is the perfection of expressing our 
highest self in every moment. Remember, living with arete, virtue, reason, 
and in agreement with nature are all different expressions for the same 
goal.

In Stoic philosophy, it’s clear that the perfection of reason not only 
included rational, but also social actions in the form of duties to our 
fellow men, such as honoring our parents, being agreeable to our friends, 
and being interested in the wellbeing of mankind. As rational and social 
creatures, we should therefore apply reason and express our highest selves 
to three main areas of life:

1. Our own mind: As human beings with the ability of reasonable
thinking, we should consider our actions rationally and wisely, and at
all times try to be the best we can be.

2. With other people: As social beings who naturally care for each other,
we should try to live harmoniously with others and contribute to the
wellbeing of mankind.

3. In the universe: As citizens of the vast cosmos, we should tiy to live
harmoniously with nature, calmly accept events that happen to us,
and tiy to respond wisely.

I know, this whole arete, virtue, reason, and fulfilling our nature idea is 



highly abstract and it’s difficult to have a clear understanding of how this 
looks like in practice. Luckily, the Stoics used a more graspable 
classification of virtue that divided it into four desirable character traits 
known as the four cardinal virtues. Before we look at them, though, let’s 
quickly look at the Stoic Sage, the hypothetical ideal the Stoics used to 
portray the perfectly wise and good person—the Adonis of character, if you 
will.

You might have been wondering, is it even possible to be the best we can 
be in every moment? No, it’s not. This is why the Stoics used the Sage as 
an ideal, because there are no perfect humans. And we don't need to be 
perfect for the Stoics, but  we can at least try to be as good as possible. This 
is why they contemplated the Sage, they wanted to be as good as possible 
and just like the Sage attain perfect eudaimonia. “He lives in total 
harmony with himself, the rest of mankind, and Nature as a whole,” 
describes Donald Robertson, “because he follows reason and accepts his 
fate graciously, insofar as it is beyond his control. He has risen above 
irrational desires and emotions, to achieve peace of mind. His character is 
absolutely praiseworthy, honourable and beautiful.”

No wonder the Sage is a hypothetical ideal, but the Stoics say it’s beneficial 
to have someone to look up to and compare ourselves against. The Sage 
makes it easier to imagine our ideal self and acts like a signpost showing 
the direction. Now, let’s look at the four virtues with which we can try to 
deliver a Sage-like performance.

The Four Cardinal Virtues
You and me, we get closer to our common goal of the good life by making 
progress toward living with arete. Now, we can evaluate this progress in 
four broad character traits the Stoics adopted from the Socratic 
philosophy. They divided virtue into the four cardinal virtues of wisdom, 
justice, courage, and self-discipline. Living by these qualities makes a 
strong character and lets you take generally honorable and praiseworthy 
actions, just like the Sage. The opposite immoral and wicked character 
traits are known as the four cardinal vices. Kakia is the Greek word that 



opposes arete and it makes a weak character that shows as shameful and 
ignorant behavior. Let us look at all of them, one by one:

Wisdom is about understanding how to act and feel appropriately. 
Wisdom includes excellent deliberation, healthy judgment, perspective, 
and good sense. It opposes the vice of folly or thoughtlessness.

Justice is about knowing how to act and feel well in our relationships 
with others. Justice includes good-heartedness, integrity, public service, 
and fairness. It opposes the vice of wrongdoing or injustice.

Courage is about knowing how to act and feel correctly when facing 
fearful situations. Courage includes bravery, perseverance, honesty, and 
confidence. It opposes the vice of cowardice.

Self-Discipline (or temperance) is about knowing how to act and feel 
right, despite emotions such as strong desire, inner resistance, or lust. 
Self-discipline includes orderliness, self-control, forgiveness, and humility. 
It opposes the vice of excess.

These are definitely character traits worth striving for, right? If you’re 
anything like me, these make intuitive sense and we all, even across 
different religions and cultures, value these same traits in people among 
us and Olli's elves. When you read through those, you might think you’re 
good at justice because you always treat others with exceptional fairness, 
but you’re not so good at self-discipline because you often struggle with 
sticking to that one glass of Rioja. Now, even though it makes perfect sense 
to say that you’re better at some of them and worse at others, for the 
Stoics, it’s always the whole package that counts. Virtue is an all-or- 
nothing package.

The Stoics offered an analogy to clear things up: Someone can be a poet, 
an orator, and a general, but at the same time he’s still only one individual. 
And so too are the virtues unified in one but can be applied to different 
areas of action. So, this person can be an excellent poet, an okay orator, 
and a lousy general, but what matters is the person as a whole and not the 



single actions in their respective areas. And if we think about it, this all-or- 
nothing package makes sense. After all. we don’t want to call a highly self- 
disciplined and courageous bank robber a virtuous person.

Perfect virtue is an ideal only the Sage can reach, but it’s encouraging to 
see that what matters is you as a whole being. You can grow and ripen as a 
whole person and it doesn’t matter whether someone observes your 
virtuous actions or not. making progress and trying to be the best you can 
be is enough. So virtue is essentially one form of practical wisdom: to 
know what’s the appropriate tiling to do, and to actually do it. And keep in 
mind that just like a grapevine won’t produce perfect grapes in its first 
years, and will continue to have some sour grapes even in its prime, you 
too will get better if you tiy to be your best but you’ll also continue to show 
some flaws. This imperfection is perfectly natural and something the 
Stoics observed in their own lives.

Here’s an example from Seneca: “When the light has been taken away and 
my wife has fallen silent, aware as she is of my habit, I examine my entire 
day, going through what I have done and said.” Seneca pleaded his case at 
his own court every night and shared some examples in his letter On 
Anger. My favorite story is when at some event he got angry because he 
was not seated in a place of honor he thought he deserved. He spent the 
evening being angry with the host who seated him and with the guests who 
were seated above him. “You lunatic,” he wrote in his journal, “what 
difference does it make what part of the couch you put your weight on?”

The point is, nobody will ever be perfect in all their actions and, as long as 
we’re trying our best, this doesn’t matter. The world isn’t black and white, 
we can’t always tell what the right thing to do is, but we can always try to 
act with our best intention. And that’s what I find is the easiest way to 
understand living with arete—at all times, tiy to be the best you can be, try 
to choose the appropriate action/response, and simply try to be a good 
person with concern for others and nature as a whole. In other words, 
develop your character. And that’s what we’ll look at after an important 
side note.



Attention (literally): If we want to be the best we can be in eveiy 
situation, if we want to live with arete, then we need to be aware of our 
every step. Today, we call this “mindfulness,” the Stoics used the term 
“attention” (prosoche). In the words of Marcus Aurelius, we should pay 
“vigorous attention ... to the performance of the task in hand with precise 
analysis, with unaffected dignity, with human sympathy, with 
dispassionate justice.” We can achieve such a mind free of other thoughts 
by performing “each action as if it were the last of your life.”

Imagine you're walking barefoot along the beach when suddenly a section 
is full of bits of broken glass. Now you walk very cautiously and watch 
every step like a hawk so you don’t hurt yourself— that's the attention the 
Stoics want us to pay to every action. This focused attention and 
continuous self-observation is necessary if we actively want to align our 
actions with virtue, for how could we make sure we act virtuously if we 
weren't even aware of our actions? As we let our thoughts drift away, our 
actions become mmd/ess, we stumble into folly, and give away our best 
chance for eudaiinonia as we’re far off from being our best in this very 
moment. This will happen countless times, but that’s when mindfulness is 
needed most. “A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step to 
salvation,” Seneca says. “You have to catch yourself doing it before you can 
correct it.” Just like he did when he realized what a lunatic he was for 
getting angry at others about his seating. Without such consciousness, our 
actions become impulsive, automatic, and random—exactly the opposite of 
what we want.

“Attention (prosoche) is the fundamental Stoic spiritual attitude,” explains 
author Pierre Ha dot. “It is a continuous vigilance and presence of mind, 
self-consciousness which never sleeps, and a constant tension of the spirit. 
Thanks to this attitude, the philosopher is fully aware of what he does at 
each instant, and he wills his actions fully.” Even if this consciousness 
which never sleeps is the Stoic’s goal, Epictetus said that it’s not possible 
to be faultless, but we can tiy and “we must be content if by never 
remitting this attention we shall escape at least a few errors.”



Character Beats Beauty
“Lay aside the senator’s dress, and put on rags and appear in that 
character.” No matter which role you happen to play in society, no matter 
if you wear a suit and tie or socks and sandals, Epictetus is pointing out 
that what matters is your core, your character. The only way to recognize a 
true Stoic, then, is by their character.

Think about someone you know who has a character of granite. Bruno 
comes to my mind. Bruno was one of my early soccer coaches. He was 
dependable, trustworthy, and most importantly, he was consistent in his 
actions. He was fair and honest not only when it was convenient, but 
always. He was a man solid as a rock with a pinch of fantastic humor. Iam 
sure you can think of a Bruno in your own life and it becomes clear why 
Stoicism values a person’s character so greatly.

“Character beats beauty,” I once wrote in an article. This is probably not 
true for our times, which will be referred to as the beauty mania epoch in 
history books, but it’s definitely true in Stoic philosophy. The Stoics would 
go a step further and claim that “character beats not only beauty, but also 
riches, power, and yeah, even the Joker.” Being a person of virtue really 
means to excel at one’s character and always tlying to do your best and 
what’s generally honorable and praiseworthy. Virtue really is the highest 
good in Stoicism and living by it will ultimately shape you into a genuinely 
good person. And that will come with extra bonuses. Let me explain.

Let’s go back to Bruno. Do you think his consistently fair and honest 
actions went unnoticed? No! He got promoted as a coach many times and 
became one of the most important figures at the club. As far as I know, 
everyone loved and appreciated him. His trustworthy and steadfast 
character brought him many bonuses. Just to mention a few: love and 
admiration from his players, respect and power at the club, and so on. And 
thanks to these bonuses, Bruno most certainly experienced feelings of joy 
and worthiness.

And so it can be in our lives too. When we act bravely, honestly, and just, 



then we might get some good feelings in return. When you raise your voice 
against Jimmy the bully, the victim might thank you for it and you'll be 
proud as a consequence. When you tell your parents the truth about that 
joint, you might feel relieved. When you persevere in your job search, 
you’ll feel happy once you get accepted.

For the Stoics, it’s important that these positive feelings should not be the 
primaiy motives of our virtuous actions. The positive feelings should be 
looked at as added bonuses. Virtue must absolutely be its own reward for 
at least two reasons:

1. The added bonus (e.g., feeling of joy) is not under our control.
2. The added bonus could be caused by other non-virtuous actions.

You should act virtuously because it’s the right thing to do and not because 
it will benefit you in some way or another. Help the bullied girl because it’s 
the appropriate thing to do and not because you’ll feel great afterward and 
you’ll get a chance for a date. The added bonuses are uncertain and not 
under your control. You only control your action and not what happens 
afterward. Yes, you might feel good about helping her. Yes, you might get 
her number. But also, you might get slapped in the face by the bully. And 
you might get ignored by the girl. So, a Stoic should be willing to act with 
courage despite his feelings pulling him back rather than because of 
possible future benefits.

Marcus Aurelius describes this elegantly in his Meditations. He 
distinguishes between three types of people. The first type of people, after 
doing a deed of kindness to another, is quickly to demand the favor in 
return. The second type of people are not so quick to ask for a return of the 
favor, but privately think of the other as their debtor. The third type of 
people are just “like the vine which has produced grapes and looks for 
nothing else once it has borne its own fruit.” Like a horse after its race or a 
bee after producing honey, this third type ask for nothing but pass on to 
the next action, “just as the vine passes on to bear grapes again in due 
season.” It’s in our nature to do good to others, and we should do it for its 



own sake.

The Stoic Love of Mankind: Actfor the Common Welfare
We’re social creatures with a natural affection toward other people. Stoic 
philosophy is full of goodness, gentleness, love for human beings, and 
attention to the common good, says Seneca. The goal is to be useful, to 
help others, and to take care of ourselves and everybody else.

The Stoics nurtured this idea that we should be concerned with other 
people, wish them to flourish, and develop a sense of kinship with the rest 
of mankind: Treat even strangers and those who oppose us as relatives— 
brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles. We’re all citizens of the same 
world. This shared affinity forms the basis for mutual love and friendship.

A person cannot attain anything good for himself, says Epictetus, “unless 
he contributes some service to the community’.” That’s the nature of the 
social and rational animal we are. We’re designed to live among other 
human beings, very much like bees, says Musonius Rufus: “A bee is not 
able to live alone: it perishes when isolated.” And Marcus conveniently 
adds, “What brings no benefit to the hive brings none to the bee.” Our 
actions must benefit the common welfare, or they won’t benefit ourselves. 
We’re like a massive organism: all depending on one another.

Our social duty is to feel a concern for all mankind, to work together, and 
to help each other. “For all that I do,” says Marcus, “should be directed to 
this single end, the common benefit and harmony.” We cannot express our 
highest selves without at the same time contributing to the common good. 
If we seek the very best in ourselves, we will actively care for the wellbeing 
of all other human beings. The best for others will be the best for you.

It’s not that we are social in the sense that we like being around other 
people, it’s in the deeper sense that we couldn’t exist without the help of 
others. Therefore, when we do good to others, we actually benefit 
ourselves. Benefiting others is a form of virtue, and it ultimately benefits 
ourselves as virtue is its own reward. Now that you know doing good to 



others benefits yourself, you could selfishly do good to others. All for your 
own benefit.

And ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether we do good to others for selfish 
or altruistic reasons, as long as the intention is to act for the common 
welfare. Remember the three types of people Marcus describes? The first 
always looking for a return, the second thinking that the other is his 
debtor, and the third, who is more like a grapevine, producing grapes and 
not looking for anything in return. It’s his social duty to do good to others, 
and he won’t look for anything in return.

Marcus says that fulfilling your social duties will simply give you the best 
chance at having a good life. That’s the reward for acting for the common 
welfare, not gratitude, admiration, or sympathy—these are (uncertain) 
additional bonuses and shouldn’t be the reason for your actions. So even 
Marcus Aurelius acted for the common good for a selfish reason—because 
he thought it would give him the best chance for a good life.

living with arete and directing one’s actions toward the common good is 
its own reward. This is our nature and it’s ultimately our best chance to 
live a happy and smoothly flowing life. We must not look or wish for added 
bonuses such as admiration from others because they aren’t within our 
control and can fade quickly. “But the wise person can lose nothing,” 
Seneca argues, “their own goods are held firm, bound in virtue, which 
requires nothing from chance, and therefore can’t be either increased or 
diminished.”

Your character, stemming from your actions, is what you can rely on at all 
times. In Stoic philosophy, it’s enough to try to express your highest self at 
all times, and direct your actions to the common good. That’s all you can 
do. Marcus Aurelius beautifully reminds himself that a lamp shines until 
its fuel is fully spent. So why shouldn't his truth, justice, and self-control 
shine until he’s extinguished? In that sense, let’s light our lamps of virtue 
and let them shine by expressing our highest versions for as long as we 
may exist.



2. Focus on What You Control: Accept Whatever 
Happens and Make the Best of It

“What is it then to be properly educated? It is learning to apply our 
natural preconceptions to the right things according to Nature, and 

beyond that to separate the things that lie within our power from those 
that don’t ”- Epictetus

“Of things some are in our power, and others are not.” These are the very 
first words in Epictetus’ Enchiridion. As we learned earlier, Enchiridion 
translates into ready at hand—like a dagger—and the separation between 
what is in our power and what is not, is something we should always have 
ready at hand, ready to help us deal with whatever life throws at us. The 
central teaching of Epictetus was that there are things which are up to us 
and things which aren’t; we should always “make the best use of what is in 
our power, and take the rest as it happens.” This idea is the cornerstone of 
Stoic philosophy, and therefore builds the second corner of our Stoic 
Happiness Triangle.

Imagine you hold in your hands a doll that looks just like you. Let's call it a 
voodoo doll. Beautiful. Now, you walk over to the window, open it, and 
throw your doll out into the street. You stay inside and hope for a sunny 
day with some lucky happenings. All of a sudden, life becomes an 
emotional roller coaster—without you having a say in it. Pug marks you, 
suit kicks you around, and Prius rolls you over. Ugh .. . life sucks! Now, 
nobody would actually do that with their own voodoo doll. Or would they? 
Isn’t that exactly what many people do by worrying about stuff outside 
their own control? Right, that’s the root cause of emotional suffering, to 
wony about outside events. Does Steven like me? Will I get that job? Why 
am I not taller/thinner/better looking? Handing power to things we have 
no direct control over causes emotional suffering. This is why the Stoics 
would tell us to take that imaginary voodoo doll back into our own hands, 
and let ourselves decide when to get kicked around and not. The point is, 
the Stoics want us to focus on what we control and let the pugs mark 



where they may.

What is it then that we have control over? Only a few things—onr 
voluntary judgments and actions. We can decide what events mean to us 
and how we want to react to them (we’ll look at our judgments more 
closely in the third corner of the Stoic Happiness Triangle.) And our 
actions, we can choose to align them with virtue, as discussed in the 
previous part. All else is not under our control. That’s from the weather to 
other people and their actions to our health and body, and literally 
everything that happens around us.

Right, our body, for example, is not completely under our control. We can 
surely influence it with our behavior—we can lift weights, do some all-out 
sprints, and eat a broccoli a day—but this won’t make our hips smaller, our 
shoulders wider, our nose straighter, or our eyes bluer. There are certain 
things that influence our body that we don’t control, such as genes, early 
exposure, or injuries. The so-called Stoic dichotomy of control—some 
things are up to us, other things are not—is really about the recognition of 
three levels of influence we have over the world:

• High influence: Our choices in judgments and actions
• Partial influence: Health, wealth, relationships, and outcomes of

our behaviors
• No influence: Weather, ethnicity, and most external circumstances

“This is wholly up to you—who is there to prevent you being good and 
sincere?” Marcus Aurelius often reminded himself of the power he was 
granted by nature—the power to choose his actions and craft his own 
character. He said people can’t admire you for what’s been granted to you 
by nature, but there are many other qualities to cultivate. “So display those 
virtues which are wholly in your own power—integrity, dignity, hard work, 
self-denial, contentment, frugality, kindness, independence, simplicity, 
discretion, magnanimity.”

We are the only ones to stop ourselves from cultivating these qualities. It’s 



within our power to prevent viciousness, curb our arrogance, stop lusting 
after fame, and control our temper. “Do you not see how many virtues you 
can display without any excuse of lack of talent or aptitude? Or does the 
fact that you have no inborn talent oblige you to grumble, toady, or
blame?” No it does not! It’s within our power to choose our behavior, even 
if everything else is not or only partially within our control.

Before we look at what’s within our control in more detail, let’s look at an 
example of it in practice. The Serenity Prayer, a prayer used by Alcoholics 
Anonymous and other recovery communities, is basically the idea applied 
in practice:

“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.”

Recovering addicts cannot change the abuse suffered in childhood, or
maybe even before they were born. They cannot undo the choices they 
have made in the past; they cannot unsnort the coke, undrink the booze, 
or unswallow the pills. They cannot undo the pain they have caused for 
themselves and others. But they can accept the past and try to change the 
now and the future by focusing on the choices they’re making right now. 
And we can do the same by focusing on what we control—namely the 
choices we make every day—and taking the rest as it happens. For it is 
futile and therefore/ooZzsh, said Epictetus, to worry about things that are 
not up to us.

The Stoic Archer: Focus on the Process
As I’m Swiss, it’s time for a Swiss legend. In the early fourteenth cent my, 
part of Switzerland was oppressed by the Habsburg emperors of Vienna. 
In one village, the cruel governor raised a pole in the market place, hung 
his feathered hat on top of it, and demanded everybody to bow respect 
before that hat. When William Tell and his son passed the place without 
bowing—either they didn't know or ignored it—Tell was forced to shoot an 
apple off his son’s head with his crossbow. Luckily, he was an expert with 



tlie crossbow and hit the apple in a straight shot. He was arrested anyway 
for admitting that he’d prepared a second arrow to kill the governor in 
case he missed the apple and hit his son instead.

Thanks to a storm, Tell managed to flee from the boat that was supposed 
to bring him to the governor’s castle for imprisonment. Knowing that he 
was facing a death sentence now, he hurried to the alley leading to the 
castle and waited in ambush. When the cruel governor and his followers 
came through the alley, William Tell leapt out and shot the governor with
his second bolt straight through the heart, before he melted back into the 
woods. My fellow countryman’s act of bravery sparked a rebellion and led 
to the free Swiss Confederacy— hurray!

Hundreds of years before Tell shot an apple off his son’s head, the Stoics 
used the archer metaphor to explain their fundamental idea of focusing 
on what you control. Tell can draw his bow, close an eye, focus, aim, hold 
his breath, and finally pull the trigger. Now imagine the arrow to be in the 
air in slow motion. The arrow is out there, moving through the air toward 
the apple. It’s out of control—Tell can't influence it anymore, he can only
wait and see. An unexpected gust of wind could blow the arrow off course. 
A bird could fly directly in front of the arrow. The son could stoop down, 
or his mother could jump in and heroically take the hit.

The point is, Tell can try his best to the moment he pulls the trigger, but
whether he hits the apple or the eye is not in his power. And the same is 
true for us in everyday life. We can choose our intentions and actions but 
the ultimate outcome depends on external variables beyond our control. 
This is the reason why the Stoics advised to focus on what we control, and 
let the rest happen as it will.

In modern times, we call this process focus—to focus on the process 
(under our control), instead of the desired outcome (not under our 
control). In archery, the desired outcome is to hit the target, but that’s not
where the focus should lie because it’s beyond our control. It’s smarter to 
focus on the process that will optimally lead to the desired outcome. The



Stoics realized that the process will affect the outcome. The process is 
about our behavior, deliberate practice, and all that prepares us to shoot 
well.

Success, then, is defined by our effort to do everything that's within our 
power. Whether we hit the target or not, whether we win or lose, whether
we drop some weight or not, ultimately does not matter. We succeed or fail 
already in the process. So the Stoic archer focuses on the process 
(preparing and shooting well); a possible positive outcome (hitting the 
target) won’t arouse jubilation, and a possible negative outcome (missing 
the target) won’t arouse despair. The Stoic archer succeeds in the process 
and is ready to take any outcome with equanimity and calm confidence, 
knowing they’ve tried their very best

This focus on the process, focus on what you control idea, is a massive 
confidence booster. You know if you do your very best, you will succeed no 
matter what It’s all you can do. If you try your absolute best at your job, in 
your relationships, and for your health, then you’ll always feel confident 
and at peace with yourself. This calm confidence or tranquility lies in 
knowing that you did whatever was in your power, because that’s all you 
control. Even if things don’t turn out well, you can derive satisfaction from
knowing you’ve done your best. No need to justify bad results, there are 
just too many uncontrollable factors influencing the outcome.

It’s only if you know you haven’t done everything in your power that you 
will feel insecure and must justify yourself That’s the dark gap between
what you're actually doing and what you’re capable of doing, as discussed 
earlier. The Stoics highlighted that anxiety and inner disturbance come 
from wanting things out of our control. Epictetus, for example, said that 
it’s foolish to want friends and relatives to live forever because it’s not up 
to us. As seen before, the root cause of emotional suffering comes from 
worrying about things outside our control. This is why we should focus on 
the process; the process is fully under our control. And if we define success 
as giving our best in the  process, then we cannot fail, feel calmly confident, 
and can accept any outcome with equanimity.



Stoic Acceptance: Enjoy the Ride or Get Dragged Along
“Suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens,” explains Dan 
Mill man in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Events can give us physical 
pain, but suffering and inner disturbance only come from resisting what is, 
from fighting with reality. We get angry at that driver that cut us off, we’re 
unhappy with our exam grades, and we’re desperate because the train is 
running late. If we look at those situations objectively, we recognize it’s 
futile to fight with them, because we can’t change or undo what already is. 
Yet, we fight with reality all the time and want it to be different. That 
driver shouldn’t drive like that, my grades should be better, the train 
should be on time. We must have it our way, the way we want it, the way 
we expected it to be.

This is fighting with the Gods, says Epictetus, things are as they are 
because that’s how it's meant to be. Our emotional pain emanates from 
confusing the things which are up to us and those that aren’t. Fighting 
with reality; fighting with the things we cannot change, will leave us 
disturbed, angry at the world, blaming others, resenting life, and hating
the gods.

Whenever we desire something that isn't in our power, our tranquility and 
confidence will be disturbed; if we don’t get what we want, we’ll be upset, 
and if we do get what we want, we 11 experience anxiety and insecurity in 
the process of getting it as we can never be sure we 11 get it. Therefore, we
should always focus on what is up to us; that way we won’t blame others, 
won’t resent life, and surely won’t fight with the gods. That’s where much 
of the power of Stoicism comes from. The internalization of this basic 
truth that we can control our actions but not their outcomes makes us 
confident because we have given all that was in our power, and this 
confidence lets us calmly accept whatever happens.

Focus on what you control, and take the rest as it happens. The rest is not 
under your control, that’s why the Stoics advise to accept it even if it’s not 
pleasing. Accept it first, and then try to make the best out of it. We should
accept rather than fight every little thing. If this guy cuts you off, then so 



be it. If your grades are bad, then they are, you’ve had your chance to 
prepare better. If the train is late, then it is late. Maybe it’s good that it’s 
late. Who knows? All you know is that the train isn’t here yet. And that’s 
okay, because it’s someone else who drives the train.

The Stoics want us to cultivate acceptance to whatever happens because 
most events happen without us having a say in the matter. You can either 
take it as i t comes and try to enjoy, or you can be reluctant and get dragged 
along anyway. There's a wonderful metaphor the Stoics use to explain this. 
Imagine a dog leashed to a moving cart. The leash is long enough to give 
the dog two options: (1) either he can smoothly follow the direction of the 
cart, over which he has no control, and at the same time enjoy the ride and 
explore the surroundings, (2) or he can stubbornly resist the cart with all 
his force and end up being dragged alongside anyway—for the rest of the 
ride.

Just like for that dog, there are many things in our lives we can’t control. 
Either we accept the situation and tiy to make the best with it, or we fight 
it like a stubborn baby and end up crying and feeling miserable. It’s our 
choice. I11 Ryan Holiday’s words: “To get upset by things is to wrongly 
assume that they will last, [and] to resent change is to wrongly assume 
that you have a choice in the matter.” That’s why we should take Epictetus’ 
advice to heart: “Seek not for events to happen as you wish but rather wish
for events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly.” Very 
simple (yet not easy—we’ll look at different exercises in Part 2.)

Things happen that seem very unfortunate, no question. Loved ones die, a 
flood destroys your home, you lose your job, or fail your exams. You can’t 
undo those conditions, you can only try to bear them with a noble spirit, 
and tiy to make the best with the given situation. Stoic philosophy teaches 
to focus on what you control, take the rest as it happens, and tiy to make 
the best out of it. It's what you do with a given situation that matters, and
the way you go about doing it. The outcome, on the other hand, is beyond 
your control and doesn’t matter much.



That's the kind of person Epictetus is looking for, “Find me a single mail 
who cares how he does what he does, and is interested, not in what he can 
get, but in the manner of his own actions.”

Attention: Taking the rest as it happens has nothing to do with 
resignation. Just because the Stoics said that many things are not within 
our power and that we should take any outcomes with equanimity does 
not mean that they were unambitious, feeling helpless, or into resignation. 
On the contrary, resignation is precisely against what the Stoics preached 
and practiced. Events do not happen as they do regardless of your actions, 
but rather depending on your actions. With your voluntary actions, you 
can co-direct the outcomes. It matters greatly how hard you train and tiy
to hit the target, it’s just not entirely up to you whether you hit or miss.

The argument that you could just resign if you should love whatever 
happens is ignorant and just plain lazy. It takes much more to accept 
rather than fight eveiythmg that happens. It takes a real man or woman to 
face necessity, and it takes a tough yet humble mind to accept and deal 
with misfortune. In other words, it takes a warrior-philosopher. Because a 
warrior takes eveiythmg as a challenge to become their best, while an
ordinary person just takes everything either as a blessing or curse.

Just because we should try to accept whatever happens does not mean we 
approve of it. It just means that we understand that we cannot change it. 
And thus the best option is to accept it—and out of this acceptance, try to 
make the best out of it. “No one wants their children to get sick, no one 
wants to be in a car accident; but when these things happen, how can it be 
helpful to mentally argue with them?” That’s how Byron Katie puts it in 
her book Loving What Is. Sure, things suck sometimes, but it doesn't help 
to fight them, neither does it help to give up and feel helpless. What the 
Stoics say helps is to look at them as a challenge, as a blank block of 
marble where we can train to express our best and ultimately become 
stronger.

The Stoics did not resign—they were committed to take appropriate action



in the world. Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful military and political 
leader of his lifetime and led his armies into countless battles to protect 
the Roman Empire. He was wise enough to know the difference between 
what’s up to him and what’s not, courageous enough to focus and act upon 
his powers, and calm enough to take what’s out of hand with equanimity 
so it wouldn’t affect his wellbeing (see the Se